More dangerous that a broken heart and a shotgun.
So I got hit on by a gay guy. It might have something to do with the fact that I licked his nose.
And why did you do that?
Tequila
New plan, instead of sleeping with her, I'm just going to use her to sleep with the entire sorority.
you really dont want me to drink and drive. you saw what i did to my face and that was only from walking
You were buying shots for everyone, saying, "I got a tax refund. I'm a MILLIONAIRE."
Given he decided my interview was a date, showed up drunk and insisted on carrying me everywhere, we weren't off to a good start.
Ok spinning in the opposite direction thatg the room was spinning was the worst advice ever
Don't judge them too harshly for getting kicked out of a strip club. Happens to the best of us.
You are the coolest girlfriend ever.
Seriously. Come back. I've had two beers for breakfast so far. The third will be for lunch since it's already 12.
When did it become normal to wake up in the middle of the night to take a group bathroom break and have a 10 minute discussion on where the next football game is?
Also send boobie pics with bobs burgers in background its the only way to get me off anymore
You kept ranting how Captain Planet is getting shortchanged in the superhero department. Other than that you kept it together
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
You spent twenty minutes waxing poetic about her ass and her thighs
Upstairs definitely just had sex while I wrote you love poetry. That was a fun experience 🤷🏻♀️
I have a number of responses, ranging in content, tone, and maturity. Choose your destiny...
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