U r making out with a 12 year old get ur shit together
The walk of shame has never felt more glorious... I think it's the somberero
A guy on the street just growled at me and said damnnnn. Sometimes it scares me how attractive i am.
DO NOT FUCK HIM ON MY BEAN BAG CHAIR
It's like there testing me. My dad kept handing me margaritas and saying "you can take it"
The fact you even thought licking it would fix it boggles my mind
Well it worked
Not the point
FYI, when you wake up, please note that I puked in your shoes because I sstubbed my tooee, not becus I was drunk.
that awkward moment when your booty call gets snowed in at your place.
My afternoon will now be spent googling genital warts. I think my life is over.
you trust me enough to eiffel tower a girl but don't trust me with a mallet wtf happened to our friendsship
college stoner meal of the day: microwaved nutrigrain bars
The fact that every guy you've slept with since you've lost virginty either have the same first or last name isn't normal.
But the drunk streaking fizzled when one of jake's friends took a piss while running with a massive erection.
dude girls our age are getting married and having babies and I still can't figure out how to defrost my hotpockets
Happy Father's Day to the first man I called Daddy while cumming.
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