I was so hungover I threw up on her when she answered the door. i don't think it was a good first impression
The police are arresting two women who got in a fight for the last Twilight DVD at Best Buy. Classic.
That's why she's the girl with her life together and you're the girl with the penis drawn on your car.
Well, my mom brought up me being vague about losing my license and she gave me the intervention look. so i left before they could bring out their heartfelt letters...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He's going to regret telling me he doesn't care if i shave or not...
YOU STOLE THE WEDDING CAKE?!?!
Only one tier
Tastes like cardboard anyway
I'll even be awesome and bring pizza for your family, just as a "hey thanks for letting a stranger get trashed at your house" gesture.
I'm starting a point system. For every 2 beer runs i do for u slackers i get a free bottle of Barefoot.
Do you still have "be bumpin" written on your ass in glitter pen? Who brings a glitter pen to a bar? Or pulls there ass out for that matter...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She ordered an O'douls. That was the end of that date
I don't know how guys can take themselves seriously when they see themselves naked
Life lesson: if a hot naked girl tells you to spit on something, you spit on it. No questions.
I'm going to talk him into letting me tie him up, and then just leave him that way and go meet you for fro-yo.
It just makes sense. It's like I end a relationship, and wash myself of sin... with tequila.
You chased a rabbit then knocked on a police car and asked the cop "if he saw where that little bastard went."
Randomize