Ok pretty sure I just saw Mike O'Malley walking through the parking lot. I wanted to see if I followed him, would he lead me to the acro-criag, i've always wanted a crack at that bitch.
Theres someone in the car behind me eating corn on the cob & talking on the phone
My cousin had a baby so we have to look at it. Apparently the event is byob
I swear it started with good intentions but then my slutty side took over and we started playing strip checkers
ive got a scarf tied around my face holding bags of hashbrowns to it, im too boss to care
Just got judged by the front desk clerk, 2 maids and a security guard at the Sheraton. I've decided to use this as a character building experience.
Just croosed over that too drunk for chemistry class line
I tried to explain to the cop how we all have skeletons in our closets but he just wouldn't listen.
So... Sorry I threw that watermelon at you the other day. I didn't think it would break any bones.
What part of "he tried to put his dick in my ear" did you not understand??
I just want to know how she convinced 6 sober ROTC guys to have an ab contest on a street corner at 2 in the morning.
I'm going to take a nap so I don't feel like a stripper sneezed in my mouth tomorrow morning at work.
Sorry about flashing you in front of your mom.
I just don't understand why we can't have sex in the house. I'll come see you but I'll have to think about the barn thing.
So, do I need to remind you to keep it classy tonight?
No, because if you have to be reminded it isn't classy.
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