rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
Have you ever seen an entire lecture hall fist pump? It's magical.
it glows. i had to have it.
Last night she showed me how to clean my bowl and now she's drunk making peanut butter filled cookies. Best. Roommate. Ever.
This could be one of the worst things i've done... The background of her phone is her and her boyfriend.
I don't have any swimsuits that don't show off the weird handprint bruises on my hips. Do you have a onepiece I can borrow?
Happiness for him is a different happiness than you can supply cuz you have life standards, morals and goals that dont include the bar or beer everynight.
I'm walking home wearing Kermit the frog footie pajamas, carrying a monogrammed shot glass set with my name on it. It's fucking Christmas!
You stuck a chicken finger in that stripper's clevage and said "Keep this warm for me.
Brilliant thought; pill pong.
What could go wrong?
Just sucked a bong hit straight from my girlfriends mouth & pretended I was a Dementor. Life just 87% more like HP.
He was like Sweeney Todd... But, without the killing people part.
So... He's a barber?
No. He's got crazy hair, and a revenge fetish. But he's hot. Does that make up for it?
You know it's going to be a good night when you're barking by 8:20.
ugh... fuck pirate breakfast. my head is like thirsty.
I would be down to associate sex w taco bell
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