I woke up in a strange girl's bed and rifled through her mail to get her name.
best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
Alli causes anal leakage. You can find someone to like you if you are fat but no one will like you if you poop yourself.
They wont let us in. Theyve some sort of no Daft Punk costume rule
Although last time you were unsure about someone they flipped a golf cart on me.
I swear to God, if you drunkenly correct my grammar one more time, I'm cutting you off.
Just saw a drunk bitch in the west village peeing on a car. You are not alone.
woke up in a random sweater in a random bed in a random house on a street I don't recognize..
also, I vaguely remember swapping shirts with some random guy on the dance floor.
I've discovered my ability to crush a man's ego is greater than my hate for beer.
I'm going to stop at grocery on the way home. I'm CRAVING wine from a sippy cup. We have neither wine nor sippy cups.
And then the night went full on bisexual.
he called me his ex's name during sex then proceeded to cry while still in me
Your skill with memes is vaguely frightening
I am in no place to make rational decisions, but right now i want you inside me
Randomize
