ppl dont tell me stories about anal. apparently im not a tell-me-stories-about-anal kind of person
omg my older sister has been googling "how do I know if I've had an orgasm?" and "bj tips". the family laptop is not meant for this...
I don't call you at 3 in the morning to start a fucking relationship.
I think im gonna have to stop sexting on the metra. The middle aged businessman behind me just leaned over and whispered 'dirty girl' and highfived his seatmate.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She clogged the toilet and got it out with a seven eleven bag. I tried to tell her no but she was convinced that was the logical thing to do.
What color are my eyes?
Ummmm... 34 C?
Convinced the domino's pizza delivery person to go to shaws and buy me a bottle of wild turkey. For america.
Tonight was the second time that I've pretended like English was my 2nd language to avoid conversation w a creeper.
Dude I walked 1.4 miles through the hotel wearing a cowboy hat, pink topped boots, gucci shades, and a scarf and met my parents in the hallway at 7 am how is this not a good start to Vegas?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I ate her out for so long I might actually shit a vagina
I'm standing up, for my all my brothers and sisters, and fighting against whiskey dick.
I feel like David Hasselhoff when he's drunk eating that cheeseburger and crying. But with cheesecake.
So, if you were also having sex around 11pm, then we were legitimately being penetrated at the exact same time. That is amazing. We are soul sisters.
Totally reading about penis envy for my final exam
So I have now fucked both my roommates...This is why I can’t live with men.
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