I didn't go out last night, but I dreamed that I blacked out and the *CRAZY* thing I did was to eat 12 cupcakes off 12 diff plates and stack them up neatly. If I had a life, I'd hate it.
Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
All I I know is that there's 2 new contacts in my phone. Drunk Backdoor and Gayass Handshake. Thanks, Jameson.
They called it unicorn pee, and i thought that was interesting so i drank it. Please don't let me drink strangers booze again.
Do me a favor? If you get with him, please lick his abs. Someone has too they're just too beautiful not to.
I'm gonna go to bars and pick up women hopped up on democracy.
She throws back shots like they are NO-THING. I swear, she goes through like five straight tequila shots, does a jello shot, chases with half a hot dog, has a rum and coke, and then takes her shirt off and makes an impromptu bandage out of it for fuckin' Tim who cut himself on the flagpole. I'm going to marry her.
I woke up in a bunk bed beside two Brazilians dude you have no idea how happy I was
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
Who looks around on a bright, sunny day and says, "you know what? Today I'm going to write gay dinosaur erotica"
Update: tequila girl had her hand down groomsmen pants
Masturbated while waiting for my face mask to dry, so it was a productive night.
He looks like Aladdin, and that's about all he's got going for him.
We are never doing shots of gin. Never again.
I'm pretty sure that's exactly what we're doing.
Grandma keeps pulling a bottle of captain from her pocket and spiking people's drinks.. She just yelled "I'm DAMN HOT to be a grandma!" .. I LOVE HER.
Randomize
