I met a girl last nite that charged by the inch. i didnt have enough money but i figured shed be a good deal for u
Do you have a straightener and are extra lubricated condoms not the norm?
Three words: puerto rican gang bang
im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
Before he took off his pants he paused and said, "Remember..sometimes great things come in small packages."
i'm pretty sure i'm on the same train we took last friday..
what?how do you know?
it appears they have not cleaned up your vomit yet.
It's official. I now have that "I was drunk and needed the money" college story to share later in life.
Whoever owns the butter that i always steal out of the office fridge definitely put THC butter in there this time. Shit just got real.
Fuck off I wasn't that drunk. I was still able to toss froot loops in the air and catch them in my mouth.
And in your bra. It was quite entertaining.
Um ... did I have a lizard on my shoulder last night at the bar?
I watched Morgan Freeman explain the existence of nothing, now I'm afraid of sub - atomic particles. these egg rolls are outstanding
he said he was going to fuck me like a rabbit in heat. What he should have said was faster then a train and over before a commercial
Her vag MUST be made out of starbursts or something equally as delicious.
You know the rule about how you feel bad for getting food and not offering other people you're around, does that apply when you eat burger king at a strip club?
I got drunk. Then I took a shit.
It was a good shit
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