I'm looking for sex. Do you know her?
you know it is a bad morning when you forget to brush your teeth and eat old gas x in your car because its minty...
I have no memory of puking on someone. Was he cute?
Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
Judging that there's a photo of me getting head while sitting on a graveyard tombstone.....not good.
This is your monthly public service announcement that sexual services will temporarily cease from Wednesday night to Monday. Please plan accordingly and have a nice day =D
Well last time he got out of rehab he lasted 6 hours. So 3 days this time is quite an accomplishment.
Just thought i'd let you guys know that my dad was roofied at a lesbian bar last night...
I am going to dream of scrotums tonight, I just know it.
I deleted his number so I had to go into my old voicemails which are saved through my gmail and search his name... Never underestimate the resourcefulness of a drunk girl on a mission for dick
He ripped off my pantyhose and all I could think was, "oh no those were clinic-appropriate!" That's what I get for ditching a continuing education meeting to go hook up with my scuba instructor.
Sorry about the weird guinea pigs text. I was drunk and they were freaking me out
IF THE GUY WHO I AM BORROWING OUR CAR FROM FINDS ONE CONDOM OR JIZZ STAIN IN THIS CAR HE IS GOING TO CASTRATE MY ASS. SERIOUSLY, DON'T FUCK IN THE CAR.
It's ok, I did squats with my bottle of wine before I opened it. That counts as the gym since I won't be getting there haha
If I call him daddy should I get him a father's day card? Serious question
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