Whod you bang
Puking blue powerade in mcdonalds parking lot to the applause of the guy taking out the trash with man in the mirror blasting in the background. Good morning stl
I spent my night drunkenly staring at a picture of John Stamos. How do you think I feel?
They were like stripper heels, except business stripper heels, the kind strippers would wear to court.
Yea.. I remember nothing. Except that the taxi driver was 56 years old and apparently never cheated on his wife.
Holy mother of cocks. I was grind-with-my-boss drunk last night.
I had no idea a 5'8 girl could fit entirely on her knees in front of the passenger seat of a Sunfire, but I am very happy to now have that knowledge.
if girls can go out in miniskirts and reveal their thongs, I should be able to wear a sheer dress with boyshorts with the word love bedazzled on my ass.
This is why you're my favorite.
Hey, if I'm gonna bastard a child and ruin his life, I'm going balls out.
I really like your cover photo on fb that looks cool
In case birth mom friends me back, thought I should make it less drunk looking.
I don't remember... but I heard a cop threatened to pepper spay my dick
So I almost just died there. And we need a new garage door.
What's protocol when the 18 year old son of an anti-gay preacher sends you a message on Grindr during church?
You ran out of his house yelling "I got the goods!" Then you pulled toilet paper rolls out from under your shirt.
I'm really going to need you to stop yelling Campari.
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