Whatcha textin bout Willis?
I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
Honestly, your dog is in better hands with that homeless guy.
He was the drug dealer that jumped out of his car to get my number
I may have broken a few toes and my face hurts. I do know that I pissed the bed so at least I've got some closure there
Also, I don't remember opening my gifts from my family. It was cool when I woke up with a new ihome.
the last guy with this job had a bookshelf fall on him. He's in the Er. Im high and they gave me his shift. How do you think i feel?
Well pretty sure I lost 3 of my best friends in one week. Remember when I said I wasn't sure if I was gonna be a better person or a more despicable one in 2012. Despicable wins.
I just farted in the bathroom and the guy in the stall next to me started gagging. Its a beauitful day
Great way to live...just blowing loads on upholstery
Jerry got outside again, i found him making dirt angels in the garden. I need to put a bell on that bastard.
Ah, but I don't wear underwear. Every day is Commando Wednesday.
I'm really interested in the size of his penis so report back on that one
i think it’s okay to see him. you just can’t wind up with his penis in your mouth again
I'm totes in the mood to go home and like blindly inhale dangerous amounts of porn
Randomize
