sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
i told him i was sober and he walked away immediately.
Just found my car keys in your throw-up.
They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
I haven't gotten it in awhile but since spring break is next week I'm willing to have a pregnancy scare if it means no bleeding through the suit
Yeah wouldn't want it to interfere with beach sex. Nothing should interfere with beach sex
I'm not driving across town for three thrusts and an excuse
You know you're hung-over when you're smoking and have the strong urge to eat the cigarette. No more buckets of gin. No. More. Ever.
I think as a general rule I have to have blacked out somewhere at least twice to be comfortable.
Driving from bar to bar trying to recover all of the possessions I've drunkenly lost over the course of the past few nights. Actual nadir of my life and absolute height of shamblyness.
Props for using the word nadir
Man, I meant to go dancing, but accidentally took mushrooms and just threw the frisbee in the park
Surprise ending
You bring me burritos. Of course I text you during sex
I'm the only person I know who could have actual sex and then dream about my vibrator.
Nothing is more confusing than dreaming about being chased by jets, then waking up with an erection.
seriously i don't trust him. he fed me a hot dog out of a crock pot and gave me moonshine dashed jager bombs.
Randomize
