She looks like an uncircumcised penis in a hat.
I had fun watching you interact with the world around you. Like a fuckin 8 year old kid who just discovered build a bear but really wants a cigarette.
i have two emotions: emotionless and blind with rage
We still on for coffee?
Cream and sugar. Deliver to planned parenthood in 45.
Seriously though, you almost tore my right nipple off.
Don't. You get on the 18 year old. I'll get on the 38 year old. Together we will bridge 2 decades of cock.
WHO THE FUCK TAGS THEMSELVES AT COUNTY JAIL?!?!
I'm not sure drinking my way through west nile virus is the best idea. Oh well, already committed to that plan.
THAT FUCKER WASTED TWO OF MY COLORED CONDOMS! HE DIDN'T EVEN FUCKING FINISH IN IT HE JUST SLAPPED IT ON AND WASTED IT!
Apparently I pulled that girl's number while I was trying to insist my drivers license had enough money on it to cover the tab.
So don't be alarmed when you go into your bathroom, he's sleeping in the tub with your brothers dinosaurs. also I'll clean up the sticky floor later. (you don't wanna know)
I changed his contact info to "NO" and a picture of satan
you made it your goal to puke in every planter around the union. you got most of them. im proud of you
Rarely does a man I fucked with upgrade from me
Saw a sign that said the chorus of never gonna give you up was enough time to wash your hands. Coronavirus has Rick rolled me.
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