Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
i feel like words won't express my appreciation properly so at some point i'm just going to bring you pizza then go down on you for an hour. fair?
she fell through a window trying to flash someone
yeah, we figured out that passing a joint between cars was a pretty bad idea
i promise the blood crusted on your tits is from him motorboating you after he tripped into the pool stick. nothing else.
She straight up told me, "I don't care if he films as long as he's quiet." You sure you can't find the camera?
My parents are takin me for chinese food for my 4/20 present.
I fucking hate you.
You made a glowstick headband with a helium balloon tied around it and climbed a tree in high heels. I was impressed.
I also tried to solve my dog's itching problem with crystal healing. I'm so high, dude.
I just rubbed amethyst all over him and kept saying 'no bites.'
True love: he brought me a margarita while I was n the shower. He's a keeper.
That's a gentle way of saying I passed out like an 18-year-old on his first trip to Tijuana
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
I'm sorry, but the bed has won this battle. I got up, changed my shirt, combed my hair, put on some deodorant, and then looked at my bed and got back in
And ANOTHER guy that I once got naked is doing gay porn now. Wtf? Am I the audition?!
Dude i just passed out while getting head...she cried
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