because whats more american than sleeping with a westpoint cadet on the 4th of july?
apparently I kept yelling at her that I wanted t-Rex sized lines. awesome
So you plan on doing double washing machine sex? Like. A double date. But with sex. On a washing machine..?
My vagina is depressed thinking about her future.
Would nail polish remover take gorilla glue off my nipples? We had a strange night.
my dad has now seen 6 different dudes grab my ass. i guess i should start a list.
We could have had it all. And by all I mean sex in your Toyota Corolla.
Why do I think he'd like to keep my hair in a box?
Oh and Dustin informs me I'm a legend amongst the freshman, if you were wondering about my street cred
At a bar across from the city police station. I PROMISE I will do something great.
If you buy me a steak I will make the extra effort to ride you. If not, I'm just gonna lay there.
Thanks for having me over last night. Sorry I licked rum off your kitchen floor.
All I want is a hot dog on a Saturday at 2:19 is that to much to ask?!
We just finished having sex and as soon as we get out of bed he yells "trust fall" and runs me over
saw a family tailgating a graduation with hard liquor... i'm assuming yours?
are you shitting me? they told me they'd at least wait until 10am
Randomize
