I'm so bored, I can only pretend that this truck is a spaceship for so long.
She tried to keep her legs crossed last night while doing a keg stand. Way to keep it classy.
I finally got laid.. you said it wouldn't happen.
is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
After 12 shots he decided to show us knife tricks. You can figure out how it ended
it's a "shave your legs in the cvs bathroom" kind of night
Boxed wine mondays was one of our finer ideas
Speaking is such a hard concept right now
we all took turns holding you up and pretending that you were simba and that we were presenting you to the jungle
I am just pathetic enough to be sitting on the couch with my cat drinking absinthe and vodka watching moulin rouge. Hello, tuesday night.
Do you ever feel like a plastic bag?!
I'm calling in my "fuck at anytime anywhere" card. Meet me at my place in 20 min, wear your Waldo costume.
The CEO is puking on the sidewalk and the HR director just offered me coke. Engineers have the best parties
I miss my teeeeeeeeth. They're in a bag in my hand.
I'm always down for nudity.
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