Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
just took a cab, driver just asked what i'd been drinking- i said vodka, he said "can't do vodka-drunk, it makes me feel like i'm giving birth to myself" ...no comment
I'm so drunk that I ordered a root beer at the bar. Whoops?
Dude michael jackson died, guess he's not 'stayin aliveee' any longer.
Uh dude that wasn't a michael jackson song it was the BGs
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
Just found 50 pesos and a coke spoon in my dads old shit. Gotta love the 70s
just looked at his mug shot... not really my type
your dad made us margaritas and breakfast on the morning. I think it's safe to say he relives his glory days through us
The girl I hooked up with in exchange for Ramen freshmen year is living with the girl I currently wish to bang.
Try oodles of noodles this time.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sex on acid. Try it. I thought we were fucking in outer space with fireworks inside a rocketship car. Best.
My boobs just got me out of my third ticket last night
i'm so proud. i woke up to nearly seven feet of basketball player in my bed this morning
you win. again.
apparently I got pissed off that no one would let me spray them with a bottle of champagne at midnight of the new year. so I sprayed myself with one shirtless in the near freezing cold outside
Thirty seconds is a long time in jizz time...
Pussy, Peanut Butter Cookies,and Bubble Wrap
Date with Air Force guy was nice btw. And for my next trick I'll talk him into fucking me in his fighter jet at 30,000 ft.
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