God dammit, you have a cape and I don't even have a fucking jacket.
Remind me if I threw up on you last night or if that was just a dream.
we fucked while standing on a ladder. challenging, but worth it.
He looked down at his phone and screamed "I'M NOT A DAD!" and then bought the entire bar a round
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
her body is proportioned like a family guy character
Tried to steal a keytar from my hook up's house.
It's my first ever "i'm sorry for my excessive drug use" hand turkey. And I think it's pretty boss.
Medically YOU CAN'T BE AN ALCOHOLIC TILL 25!!!!! WE GET 3 BONUS YEARS!!!!
he gave me a thermos so I could take my coffee with my on drive of shame. I was unexpectedly grateful...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just fist bumped God in my head for last night. What a bro.
You put on a bike helmet, yelled "doesn't matter fuck it" then punched a stick the fire
ANNA YOU PEED ON THE STREET. LIKE NOT EVEN SUBTLY. YA JUST SQUATTED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE HIGHWAY. And you flashed your tits to oncoming vehicles to try to get them to pick us up
tbh I think I just dated him for his dogs in the first place.
And why in he fuck did I get 'dick' in Romanian tattooed on my forearm
Idk I just think that seeing that man's Twitter always resulting in me looking for the whiskey is a bad sign
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