im so hungover...we just watched The Perfect Storm and i got seasick
He IMed me 5 times, before my homepage even loaded. This is not gonna work out for me
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
we found him in the shower with a bottle of jose saying "this is Mexico's fault"
dinner is belligerent. she just poured the rest of the pitcher of margaritas into a take home box. people are staring.
think they'd let him outta jail for my wedding? we could have him back by like midnight....
Dnt forget 40 tuesday,dress nice! Like job interview nice, like funeral nice, like a couple muhfuckas sittin on their lawn drinkin forties on a tuesday nice!
Christ, I really took the slutcake last night.
Wait. Someome brought slutcake?
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Option 1: fuck me and bedtime. Option 2: come fuck me and then hangout with everyone. Option 3: don't fuck me in which case fuck you.
Well, I washed his beard with dish soap and then I fucked him three times.
Burritos, beer, and hot tub sex. Merry Christmas to me.
You had sex with a guy who has a purple beard last night. No Molly for a while, ok?
wanna see your best friend chug a bottle of steak sauce?
please go to sleep
Could be all of this cough syrup, but I’m ready to fuck 2018 up!
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