Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
I just spent the last hour reading customer reviews on amazon.com for the book "it hurts when I poop." Send help.
i kept drunkenly begging people i met to be in my facebook mafia
I closed that bar. Sang every Beatles song in the book. Made Somoan friends.
my debit card account is gonna say movie, movie, ice cream, movie, cheese fries, get a fucking life, movie
They live so far away from me that not fucking them both would have been financially irresponsible
I'm at the point in my life where I'm trying to get guys I've fucked to give a ride to guys I'm going to fuck.
Road trip to buy me a baby zebra..are you in or are you in?
A horseman, i repeat, a man on a horse downtown just told me i was gorgeous and my friends were not. Not drunk enough.
you regret 100% of the tequila shots you do take. thats what gretzky meant to say
THIS MOTHERFUCKING ROOSTER
IT KEEPS CHASING ME BACK IN THE HOUSE
FUCK THIS BIRD
Which president had the biggest dick?
Take your time, I'll wait
Got home & pissed on my moms carpet like a bear in the woods. I woke up to a picture message with me passed out on the floor with my pants down & hands covering my face. I've had an awkward week
Do you know anyone else that comes home with unexplainable injuries as many nights a week as we do?
Your girlfriend agreed to a threesome, I saw dogs in a bar. It seems life is falling into place for us
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