I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
if i were reduced to my simplest elements, i would be jizz and glitter.
Peanut butter while high is kinda stressful
No. Please No. At first it was cool when you started bring an extra girl home for me but after 2 cycles of clap medicine I'm putting an end to it.
well i had to explain to their mom why the kids i babysit for won't stop repeating the phrase "nice juicy guido"
Uggh answer your phone, you are the only one I know who'll be proud of what I woke up next to this morning .
No it's ok. I made friends with the guy that always wears helmets to the bar. His name is helmet Harry
Someone just bought me a one liter long island and call me maybe is on. I'm going to die
That would be a mascot riding an ATV at a semi-professional hockey game, if that doesn't sum up how I've been I don't know what could
But now I'm just thinking when he said he "worked for the airline" he actually meant drug smuggling.
If I ever go to jail it will be because of you, I can feel it.
You KNOW it was a good night when you find French fries AND taco remnants in your bra when you get home...
Being home for break is weird, just had a full convo with my dad about what I wanted for dinner, while a dildo was on top of me under my comforter
Lol woke up with mangoes in bed with me
If you think I'm not petty enough to drive to your house at 3 in the goddamn morning just to punch you, you underestimate me.
Randomize
