i think the sales of Rosetta Stone are directly related to the size of that woman's tit's
She looked like a pterodactyl.....but dude i love dinosaurs
She took off her pants and it was like seeing an old friend.
i can't believe you were mixing vodka with green tea last night and enjoying it.
i should bottle and sell it. my slogan could be "green tea vodka. antioxidating while intoxiacting. your liver will thank you. "
Stop making excuses. You can be here in 5 and cumming in 10
He sent me $300 worth of sex toys. My clitoris went into hiding after two days.
It's a lightpost hitting you in the head. Of course it's going to hurt the day after.
There's never a time that i stay at this apartment that when i wake up in the morning and sit outside to smoke a cigarette that i don't feel ashamed of myself.
I don't care if I just threw up. You kiss me now. This is marriage.
I can't keep up with all the guys you're banging. I'm just going to start referring to them by city of origin.
During your work shift I was either: a) stoned. b) high. c)stoned. or d) high.
Did you clean his pubes up off the table yet?
The guy I made out with the other night fed me chipotle favored funions and I thought it was true love when I was drunk.
I haven't even lived here for 24 hours yet, and I've already banged someone. My new hoe life is off to a great start.
Setting myself up for trouble? Yes. But getting laid is a lot more important at this time.
Randomize
