I hate ducks.
What?
they're sketch. like squirrels. squirrels are sketch as fuck.
so, i drunkenly called my religious roomie because i was lost and told her if she couldn't come find me, jesus would condemn her to hell for not leading me to the light .. too much?
If my nicknames are based on what I throw up, you can call me Jimmy Johns
On a scale of 1 to 10 how hot is the girl you're about to fuck?
Strong 6
That's an oxymoron.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just desperately used the "it's a boy" cigar I saved from my\nnephews birth to roll a blunt
Lowest moment of my life just occurred. I literally threw up all over myself in front of my parents.
we are both sitting on my bed desperately refreshing the order tracking page for dominos.
If I EVER think it's a good idea to blow someone who just showed me their synchronized swimming performance on youtube again please correct me immediately.
If those antibiotics mean you can't drink, ya might as well pack your bags and re-enroll next fall, because sobriety this week would be social suicide.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, we tried to feed you but you just started sobbing and ran away
Can you technically cross something off your bucket list if you don't, per say, remember it....?
lol show me an arrest record and I'll drop my panties
I think he just shit his pants. Yep he did. That's unfortunate.
Sooo does anyone wanna tell me why I threw up a cigarette this morning?
OMG YOU DID TO?!
Where are you guys?
Drunk
Randomize