dude why did you let me call her?!
i told you it was a bad idea and to quote you exactly, you said "no, it's a good idea..that's what people do when they love each other." you met her 15 minutes prior to that conversation...
There's a girl in here wearing a kaballah bracelet and a miley Cyrus tshirt. consider her judged.
You stole a frozen pizza from the freezer, stuffed it in the back of your shirt then proceeded to leave the party.
making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy
DUDE EDDIE MURPHY JUST DID A BODY SHOT OFF A HOOKER. IM NEVER COMING HOME
well hes been the bathroom for like 15 mins so he either feels comfortable enough to puke/ shit in my apartment or he escaped out the window
posting about faith hill is really not helping you get me into your bed
That accounts for only three of the penises
Dude, for twins they have shockingly different blowjob styles.
STOP FUCKING MY SISTERS!!!!
Girl this is ridiculous I told my self that I would stop having sex in stairwells yet it keeps happening
painting my nails while super high-drunk. Ended up painting my entire hands. Both.
After we hooked up, his roommate shouted "I LIKE TO HAVE SEX TOO" from across the apartment
we had sex in his office so i figured it was appropriate to like his company's page on facebook
FACT: You were laying down on top the bar letting randoms do bodyshots off you until someone told theyre friend "its time to roll, i wanna hit another bar" and you literally rolled your self right off the bar. have fun explaining your bruises tomorrow
Forget work, lets run away, rob banks, and have kinky sex with fuzzy handcuffs.
IT'S LIKE YOU READ MY MIND.
Randomize
