Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
you are my new fav person for making him do the walk of shame in pink footie pajamas!
Drunken horseback riding is the absolute worst decision i've ever made in my life.
whoever put homecoming and halloween on the same weekend owes me a new liver and a get out of jail free card.
So are you actually going to come fuck me in the ass this weekend, or was that just you being drunk in a kilt?
dude you literally had like 30 screwdrivers, i thought you were gonna die
that explains why my vomit smells like it came from florida
I think the worst was the guy who sent me YouTube videos about how age doesn't matter, and then a link for natural breast enhancements. Kill me.
Wow it must be so difficult to be as popular as you are and smoke as much weed as you do
But now he's gone and I'm exhausted and my vagina is yelling at me and I want a cheeseburger
So much Jack, so little girl.
You shouldn't play strip poker when you're having a wet fart kind of day.
Just packed a snack to eat on the way to McDonald's. That stoned.
come pick your gf up from my house. she's sitting in the fridge and hissing at the cat to let her eat the potatoes. btw i dont have a cat
I could hear it slapping against his thighs under the robe!!!!!!!!! You are a lucky girl!
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