It was unlikely that the relationship was going to end with anything other than antibiotics.
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
Just did a walk of shame dressed as a cowgirl and walked past his ex's entire sorority. Yippee kye aye, motherfucker.
they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise.
turns out that the cat the james was trying to catch was a raccoon. call me when you get this, i need an ER buddy
She is wasted and this random lady got her to suckle milk from her tit
My Valentine's Day plans just drastically changed... My F buddy just ran into my gf...in my driveway.
Just traded the drive-through guy at BK a Dos Equis for a Hershey pie before noon... win?
IDK. when she left she was wearing her bra like an eyepatch and offering to shiver the timbers of the dorm patrol.
I'm having salsa con queso and a leftover half-drank/flat red bull for breakfast. Nothing you propose doing today would be a downgrade.
i need some food
Holy shit I forgot about you stabbing him.
Happy cinco de mayo!! Puke filled sombrero in the lawn needs to be picked up and whos never punched my fence boards in half needs to replace those by the way the owner of those panties (see attached photo) anytime you wanna cum over;-) hiii!
I literally cut myself out of my pants. What is my life.
What happened last night dude?
YOU SHIT ON MY FUCKING COFFE TABLE THATS WHAT FUCKING HAPPENED!!!
Can you leave her a note saying "did you enjoy watching me fuck your roommate?"
I will.
Randomize
