My cleaning lady just walked in the kitchen and i had a hardcore boner. I dont know what awkward is anymore
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
So ahh..."Multicultural Night" turned into "Fuck the Neighbor Night"
Do you think I should still be the condom fairy for Halloween even though I'll be like.. Almost 8 months pregnant?
You won't wear your Santa suit, I can't get trashed, and you won't use handcuffs! This is the worst Christmas EVER.
Thanks for the hickies, asshole. I make my living as a fitness instructor. It's gonna look reeeeeeal weird if I have to wear a scarf while teaching Zumba all week.
You have to sext the same way you right a resume, you can only use active verbs
Not after That Night. No. I hate tequila. And it hates me. Very mutual hateship going on.
I think your dad took our porno
he walked up looked at my boobs then looked at my eyes then looked at my boobs again smiled and said "can I get you and the girls a shot "
This is it. This is the birthday cake that gets me laid.
I have chicken nuggets, lube and brand new batteries, he can stay at work charting all weekend for all I care, I'm set.
They gave me 4 meds at the health center and said not to take alcohol with any of them. Guess ill wait until tomorrow to feel better.
I had to ask her to let go of my cock this morning so I could go home. She just kept saying "no, please, no..."
Randomize
