See it, we're so close, i smell your vagisil
Yep. About to get on pornhub to spill some Christmas cheer
His facebook says he is a fan of "underwater handjobs"
I woke up while squatting on top of my bed peeing on my comforter and my laptop
These 25 Drunks Should’ve Gotten Cut Off A Long Time Ago
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
I don't think you seem to understand this concept. WHEN A GAY GUY HANDS YOU A DAIQUIRI, YOU DRINK IT.
I may have just flashed my roommate as he walked in while my towel was falling. Now he knows what an American sized penis looks like I suppose
Sitting on an airplane reeking of booze, sex and shame while surrounded by families coming home from Disney. This is not one of my finer moments.
I'm imaging you naked, covered in butter. And I gotta say, I'm not impressed.
27 Freshmen Who Really Didn’t Know What They Were Getting In To
I BIT YOU IN THE DINING ROOM. I bit you and you crunched
You're the reason why I want to be a better drunk
You slapped the bar and yelled "daddys thirsty!" at the lady behind the bar
To be fair I was thirsty
When she told you not to yell you looked directly at me and screamed "Man, she sucks!"
I just gate-crahed a party and met a state senator, so I had an interesting afternoon jog.
Dude, we got to the strip club as they were closing, and you starting crying because, and I quote, "This is the closest to birthday sex I'm gonna get."
I spanked her so hard I woke up Grandma