He asked me to sit on his face, but i didnt, for 2 reasons, one, i had just pooped like 20 mins before sex, and two, this could be my future husband. so i skipped on sitting.
i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
so I woke up this morning and on their fridge, the first item on the shopping list was my virginity.
and then he said he has been waiting since high school to touch my boobs
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She brought up feelings... her days are numbered
I just peeled a layer of cum off my eyelid. Don't even tell me that's not why you came over
she walked out and i tried to get her to come back but i couldn't remember her name so i just whistled... future reference: that doesn't work
I just saw him carrying his little sister while walking his puppy. And he was shirtless. I swear my ovaries just exploded
I'm covered in European cum. How's your day going?
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Just fucked a MILF from Alaska. I love traveling.
Pizza rolls are incredible. They are like sex, except I have them sometimes
If you kill yourself you won't get to feel that feeling when you have a good shit in the morning. Arent you gonna miss that?
You drunkenly said something along the lines of "move forever" to the lady standing in your way. Needless to say you had too many mimosas at breakfast.
cake and sex. what better combination is there.
Okay, the good news, found Jared, all IDs accounted for, Jack is meeting us at yours with your requested the delivery. The bad news: Lost Alice, banned from Stages, possibly fucked my TA in the bathroom.