Yeah well I just ate cereal out of a muffin pan with a fork. I'll flip a coin as to who has to tackle that pile of dishes we've neglected for 3 weeks.
She really thought E.D. was a sexually position.
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
Found out why they call her Halfpipe Jenny-NOT the cool reason we thought
21 People Confess What It’s Really Like At An Orgy
I just tripped out to the Angel of Music from Phantom of the Opera in my car. Wayyyy to high for shuffle right now.
Last time i was there we saw the window of the pizza place we were at get busted, we were pulled out of a taxi to be questioned by the cops, and we peed outside a waffle house. I'm in.
If we both finish he brings me a beer and cookies, if only he finishes I get wine and cheesecake. I think I'm in love.
I'm really having trouble focusing on shark week with this erection
Whatever she smells like compost and feathers.
I believe they call that patchouli.
These 15 Honest Illustrations Show What Women Do When No One Is Watching
If you quit, you're not going to stick to our game plan of dead by 40. I will not be in the titty bar nursing home without you damning
I just made kick ass drunk stir fry while taking care of three other drunk people and doing shots. I don't understand how that's not wife material
If I got to choose how I die, it would be in an Olympic sized pool of gin and tonic.
What I've learned from glowsticks: glowing things are not safe to eat
You had sex with a guy who has a purple beard last night. No Molly for a while, ok?
I hate men. But I love dick. You see my problem?