roommate just walked in on us. two and a half times. the half, she just knocked, sighed, and walked away.
My wife says its no good to have oral sex during pregnancy. So i guess pregnancy is like regular life.
all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
And then you told your sister how horrible of a friend I was because I couldn't get you cheese fries...
After me and my boyfriend broke up I had to resist the temptation to send a mass text to my booty calls saying "thank you for your patience. it will be rewarded."
Clearly, I'm already going to hell, so there's no point in trying anymore.
he's wearing our apron and eating a pb and oreo sandwich. and calling the oreos "topless" since he took their tops off...
I dont know, but the way you were flopping around and gurgling made me scared that you were actually drowning in the carpet.
Playing basket ball at the park with random people that showed up at 1am. the division of teams is based on what drugs people are on
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
I ended up passing out on the shitter for like an hour with mcds smoothie all over my face
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
I'm just mad because I can't play gta5 all day tomorrow cuz I'll be in court testifying against a craigslist prostitute...
I've officially dedicated my newly single life to making myself squirt.
We kept having to tell you that you couldn't just sit wherever you wanted at Walmart. Sitting in the middle of the raw meat section was unacceptable and children were staring at you.
Randomize
