Saw a guy smoking a cig holding it with a fork and driving WTF?
its like he missed a chap in the "being a guy" handbook and read the bible instead
CONFIRMATION: i wiki searched it and Justin Bieber is 15 not 13. so i dont feel like as much of a pedofile now....
Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
im proctoring the SATs right now and im still drunk from last night. i really wanna tell these kids that this fucking test doest mean shit and they will just be constantly drunk once in college.
i walked outside and you were driving up the stairs to her apartment
His tongue was like Jesus himself was blessing my boobs for eternal ecstasy.
I'm not so sure Jesus approves of such activities, but ok.
How many people can say they've shit on the floor of a five star hotel?
We were having an argument with his friends mom about whether it was worse that he bootycalled me at 4 a.m. or that I bootycalled him at 12 in the afternoon
its ok, the prom king gave me his crown to puke in
Date idea: we should go to the store and buy all the different kinds of Lay's and eat them all
I'm currently in h&m wondering "what exactly is the class level of a swingers resort?"
I'm actually more excited that I had so much sex this weekend that my ovaries hurt
Does it look too obvious if I buy wine and candles!?! In my defense there is a gigantic snow storm coming.
We still on for Manwhore Monday?
Randomize
