She got all mad because she said it was "unprofessional" to tell my manager to go fist herself.
i jus dunped the rest of my drink down the sink and tool my bra off. pretty sure this is the best decision for everybody.
When she e-mailed me back asking for proof, complete with hospital intake records, I just told her it was a home-birth. I'm prepared to take the fail.
It's now 3:30 and the guy I went home with is showering me with shredded cheese. Nbd.
Hurry up and get here I'm judging myself
Just pull your dick out and wink at her, its a game changing play
Thanks for walking over, a conversation about David Bowie's dick as a muppet is exactly what my day was missing.
Then she cat effected the picture of my dick I sent her the other night. I'm in love.
What time do you think you'll be heterosexual?
I think I left my chapstick at your house when I tried using your penis as a catapult and flung it on the floor. Be a dear, and try to see if you can find it.
Best line overheard at the bar: "This is the last time I'm shaving my ass for him...I mean we just broke up".
You dropped my mother on the dance floor. She has a concussion. You didn't apologize. Don't speak to me for a while.
I just spent so much time grooming my landing strip and like, sex isn't even on the agenda tonight.
danced like there was no tomorrow. surprise. there's a tomorrow
I don't want to date him...I just want him to cheat on his girlfriend with me.
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