the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
as veruca salt said, "i want it now!"
uhh im not your indulgent father, stoned and im in the middle of making tacos. right now, tacos win
The best revenge is premature balding
He gave me an orgasm with his left hand...and he's right handed. Of course he's a keeper.
as we were driving back from the frat house he pulled down his pants and convinced me his penis "wanted some air"
Im beginning to think that if I ever write an autobiography it will have to be mostly fill in the blank.
Blood drive hookups: you will probably faint during the sex, but at least you know neither of you has AIDS
I know he gets bloody noses a lot...so that explains all the blood...but I'd say the condoms are definitely from a penis.
Honestly the war on drugs is dumb and you can just sleep in my bed which is mega comfortable anytime you want. There I said it
I am the slutty bisexual glue that holds this friendship group together.
Perhaps if I didn't mortify my parents last night with my drunken obnoxious behavior which resulted in the casualty of an entire decorative bathroom shelf which I completely ripped off the wall and left for dead, I would be more than willing to go day drinking.
I'm busy watching infomercials. I'd say I'll join you later, but I'm doing a shot every time they demonstrate how difficult life is WITHOUT this product. So I doubt I'll be able to walk in another... Maybe 40 minutes.
But feel free to join! A new infomercial starts in 12 minutes.
It was all good until his cat started licking my nipple along with him
I tied him up for his boyfriend so he could get fisted... I'm the best roommate ever.
Wow. That's certainly more than I've ever done for a roommate.
I mean, I was going to use them for a beading project, but I guess I could take one and let you bat my dick around like a cat toy.
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