why did i save someone in my phone as corn dildo?
is it too early in the day to continue our conversation about penis shapes?
Why is there a keg in our kitchen? I'm not complaining but why is there a keg in our kitchen?
At one point I thought we were going to have to fuck our way out of their apartment
I just want to have sex and eat oreos. and then take body shots. like everyday.
You then showed up downstairs in only a robe, telling everyone how you were "the most chivalristic fratstar ever."
He burnt his arm on the grill, then turned around and started blaming it on the burger buns...I think it's safe to say he's drunk.
Old woman told me I looked like her son and then she started explaining to me how she wanted me to fuck her
If you get laid dressed as my dad that makes me extremely uncomfortable
We could have mediocre awkward sex or mediocre stunted/awkward/uncomfortable banter. The possilities are relatively finite
I don't wanna shit myself again in 2015
I'm fine w planning around your penis prospecting. Saturday it is.
Do him. As soon as possible and as often as possible. That's what Oprah would say
Unless it involves a lot of whiskey, an ACDC concert, and a guy named Juan from the Philippines, then I'm not interested.
I just did a bump with my mom so I’d sober up for Black Friday shopping
Randomize
