Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
So when we opened his headboard we found a bottle of crisco sitting on top of his porn magazines.
I guess we all know what he was cookin.
we put the last xanax in the middle and played hungry hungry hippos to see whod get it
fair is fair
I can't believe im sexting my roommate. This is really what my life has come to
No, I am not setting up my roomba to clean up puke.
If for no other reason than to cuddle with that puppy, you have to hook up with him again.
Who knew that "When in doubt, pelvic thrust" would end up being the best motto ever? In other news, I think I may have joined roller derby.
It was everywhere. My dick was a sprinkler of lost future children.
Now I can't say for certain but I'm 90 percent are I bathed myself with dog shampoo last night
I found your dog. Now we are bros, so he is staying. Don't call, don't make it weird.
It was crazy man, at one point after already going 3 rounds I tried to breakaway for a smoke...she yanked me by the nipple hair back on top of her.
Did I tell you he put a lobster carcass on his dick?
her nickname was handjob. I knew what i was getting into.
Well, if I’m not getting dick or sleep then I’m not interested.
sarah's view on last night: a threesome to make things less awkward. oh, well done.
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