I will fuck a handful of worms if you hold them
its simple. when his lips are on my clitoris i want to marry him. when they are speaking i want to kill him.
just tried googling 24 hr taco bell and when i typed "24 hour" it autocompleted with fitness. buzzzz killllll
She had another shot and asked if I wanted to taste her tongue ring. Then I helped her pee.
OH YEAH AND FORGOT TO THANK YOU FOR THE lack of WARNING THAT HE WASN'T CIRCUMSIZED.
I really just want to stuff him in my purse, take him home, feed him pudding or applesauce and brush his hair. That's not creepy, right?
You know I told you about that hammering at 3 AM yesterday? Turns out it was Holly beating the lock out of her door with a mallet because she'd forgotten her keys.
Doesn't she keep a spare?
Drunk Holly doesn't listen to Sober Holly's plans.
I think it's god's punishment for my behavior in Vegas . Lies were told. Angels were defiled. Pools were pissed in
i don't knpow whats goin on i think theyre sacrificeing me to th tequila gods
You fell asleep mid blowjob with my vibrator in your HAND. So no, I will not bring you pizza.
hooked up with someone last night while wearing walrus pajama pants. clearly I'm accomplishing big things in life
we're like the harlem globetrotters of underage drinking
Orgasms and cereal.... that's what life's about.
Facebook is for cat videos and having better lives than people from high school, period.
I’ve officially bought the ticket for my future dick appointment 😂
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