Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
i may or may not be watching the land before time
The cab driver just finished telling me how leaving community college after one month was the best desicion he ever made.
You should come over. I am making a celebratory I got laid by a huge penis cake.
Watching Argentina vs Germany during a wedding on an iPhone. Thank you Steve Jobs.
Its what jesus would do if there were bud light in his time. I feel obligated.
We didn't even make it to the door before they came out saying we weren't allowed in because of last time..
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
You know when you can feel the alcohol in your toes? That's a great feeling.
You just said we could build a blanket and pillow "fuck fort." Of course I'm never leaving you.
It sounds miserable..I have to wear a dress and it's a cash bar?
Maybe it's just my body's way of telling me I don't need pinky toes. Like I'm the next evolutionary leap or something...
Just burnt my nuts with a cigarette. Don't ask. I hate life.
I accused him of not drinking enough alcohol and eating tacos after midnight. I was sober and he's not a gremlin. I would say bad.
I visited the library for the first time in my college career tonight and I got laid. I think I'm gonna come back...
Randomize
