Most of the time people just stick whatever they want in my mouth. Thanks for letting me decide this time
The homeless ppl in LA are great. Theres sum guy that makes all of his clothes out of tighty whitey underwear. He makes bags out of them 2. Presumably 2 hold more underwear.
My favorite part was when he stopped, looked up in the middle of performing oral sex and asked, "you did know it was Arbor Day, right?"
Okay my swimming class is like the fatass/diabetic guide to losing 2 pounds by christmas
He considered it romantic when he told me mid-blow job that no matter what happens, he will "never forget how good of a dick I suck". Verbatim.
I was fucking the girl and her best friend walked in on us. She said we looked thirsty, got us a glass of water, and poured it down both of our throats. It was like... sex bottle service
Just had a shirt made that says "I'm sorry" going to wear it every sat and sun morning for the foreseeable future
Screw disneyland. This military base is the happiest place on earth. Even unnatractive dudes are completely fuckable in those uniforms, im never leaving
She has dubbed herself the Pied Piper of Penis and keeps yelling about getting Cocktober started... Will send pix soon
We were banging then all I remember is coming down hard and smashing my top teeth off his forehead. I just rolled off and tapped out. Done-zo
It's only just- an eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth, a nude for a nude
It's one of the few times I hit fuck it levels of not caring
Oh. My. God. I. Am. Going. To. Punch. Someone. In. The. Face. Immediately.
Never let the horse trainer ride you, always ride the horse trainer. I have huge bruises on my thighs from his hip bones. That's how hard he rode me
Sex was followed by homemade breadsticks. I waited till after the breadsticks were gone to tell her i had a gf.
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