i feel like pocahontas...the disney character not from real chance of love
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
She lost her glasses and we found them on the roof. Don't ask questions. Kings cup was intense last night.
I think the last straw was when you put on ice skates to go across the waxed wooden floor.
The bong is packed and it's taco Tuesday come over
There is a severe lack of banging on that itinerary... I'd like a revision on my desk within the hour
there are not enough nopes in the world for that situation.
Almost stopped showering halfway through to go get food
I'm glad we can *facepalm* it together over the married couple we fucked separately.
I just swiped right for a guy on Tinder solely because it looked like he was holding Zoboomafoo
I always can't wait to see you but when there's also an opportunity to get naked it elevates to an entirely different level
He gave me a box of cheez-its after sex, does that make me a hooker?
It was horribly awesome. Its like looking at the sun, you know its bad for you but I just couldn't stop looking.
I am coming home with the worst sun burn of my life, two unused condoms, and an unworn slutty dress. Worst. Bachelorette. Party. Ever.
I successfully cockblocked 5 people in one night. I wasnt getting any, why should they.
Randomize
