I just jerked it so loud the neighbor banged on their floor. maybe my wife got the point
So let me get this straight. You would sleep with an uncircumcised guy whose name you didn't know, but you won't try the new shrimp taco from taco bell?
Dude I think I vomited on the wireless internet box too...it isnt working.
I just found a receipt from ace where I bought 1 lrg plastic funnel, 2ft of 1" plastic tubing, and a 48" toboggan sled. Thank you cashier #552 for letting that poor life decision happen.
I smell like Captain Morgan and tears
did we decide the 'sorry about the threesome' cake was too flippant?
It's like you are the superhero of getting jizzed on
We can just keep having sex until one of us finds someone we actually like
So, we estimated there is at least 40 pounds of boob in our house.
You finished the fifth and then hid two dozen eggs around your apartment and declare that you would "quest for Jesus". Have fun questing today.
I had sex on a sidewalk in downtown Chicago... I don't think I have anymore morals to lose.
I'm not gonna lie. The thing I miss the most about him right now is the air conditioned hotel rooms.
We played 2 very competitive games of Jenga and then fucked our brains out... BEST. RELATIONSHIP. EVER.
I woke up alone, naked in her bed staring at a lifesize poster of edward cullen,actually I'm lying I did have socks on
I'm just trying to figure out the reason why humans wear socks....
Randomize
