i keep myself tagged when other girls look bad/ugly so i look better
And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
And there I was, sitting Indian style on the kitchen floor, my fingers covered in peanut butter.
Did I send you an asleep facebook message about the upcoming football season titled 'BRILLIANT' at 4:45 this morning?
possibly one of my favorite moments was wiping it off your nose after you high fived a bouncer
There's a website where you can order a pile of horse shit to be dropped on a persons doorstep. So that's another option.
I just coughed and my vagina hurt. We need to hook up more.
I didn't want sex last night, but she charmed my dick out of my pants like a snake charmer.
all i remember is slapping you in the face with a slice of pizza while laughing maniacally.
And why in he fuck did I get 'dick' in Romanian tattooed on my forearm
Thought the acid was fake. Then my reflection didn't move when I did in the bathroom.
Well I hate to admit it but at this point I can successfully say i have been pee'd on by both of my roommates.
He grabbed at it like it was a stress ball or something. It's a boob, not a grapefruit. The fuck.
Chasing shots with airborne.. Gonna get rid of my sickness and my soberness.
He ate me out in the warehouse on a pallet of sunlight soap. I fucking love night shift!
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