so i realized that everyone figured out i was a slut before i did. then i realized that no one felt like telling me. sometimes i think you just keep me around for entertainment.
you're right.
once my pubes got caught on her snaggletooth it was all downhill from there
Come on, video tape it. Take one for the team
Please tell me you saw the asian lady with the medical mask on cutting her lawn with scissors.
and my loofah got caught on my nipple ring in the shower today. what an awful experience.
We're cuddling on the couch that me and his brother had sex on...this feels wrong
Three questions... How drunk were you? How long until we can make fun of you for this? Do you even really need a spleen?
They want me to get them some X for there wedding present. I'm on the way to get it now
Fair enough. I'm gonna finish off half a bottle of Brunettes in the shower anf relive the good ol' days. We need a reunion
If it makes you feel any better... I have a friend who found out her mom was in the video for 2 Live Crew's "Pop That Pussy"
Good god you suck at this wake up call. Seriously. If I can, after consuming enough vodka to subdue a russian soldier, muster up enough motivation to call you in the morning and send you naked pictures the least you could do is pick up.
I can't wait til me and pit bull can just be together
Got home & pissed on my moms carpet like a bear in the woods. I woke up to a picture message with me passed out on the floor with my pants down & hands covering my face. I've had an awkward week
Sex while Star Warsing is the best
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
Randomize
