It just feels so wrong throwing away the condoms into her Hello Kitty trashcan
found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
There is a bruise on my cock the size of a golfball. Bad sign.
Sandwiches are there for you when porn isn't.
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I feel like I'm sitting in a sleigh of puddy. It's not a bathtub though because you need a sleigh to go down a mountain.
He burnt a smiley face into the screen with a cigarette, peed in my tub and then tried to take off his pants. tried...
His penis will pick the quickest route to vagina. it's like an biological onstar.
So, your gf couldn't walk up the stairs without your help, but she could knit you a scarf?
I think the fact that the scarf was made out of dental floss should be taken into account.
Well my sources tell me she just happens to appear in an episode girls gone wild.
I know someone that will spend hours looking for her. He also has many of said movies. And I will do it for free!
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i've created a new STD.
I'm tired of looking like my mother fucked Chewbacca.
FML I accidentally sent the text about his bruised balls as a group text that included his brother and my boss.
So I decided to sleep with him for the first time in months so I can convince him it's his kid instead of the other guy
This is the difference between me and him; he buys you flowers, I buy you a dildo
I woke up this morning to pee and six dollar bills fell out of my underwear. I guess that lap dance just bought me lunch.
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