i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
I like the name aiden. he likes stella. I told him they're coming out of my vagina, and I will name them what I damn well please. Stella goes.
she was throwing up and singing "I HAD a feeling that tonight was going to be a good good night." And yeah she was still in her dress.
My financial aid advisors would be so pissed if they knew I was spending my loan money on strippers
What I dont get, is for a man with a penis his size, to choose to go back with another girl instead of one that he says is the best sex he's ever had. He cant afford to be picky.
It's safe to say that bucket of tequila night can NEVER HAPPEN AGAIN.
Going to.goingto.gtoing to DIE DIE DIEEEE......i feel like everyeone impotrant in my life like MLK is judging me.... saddd day
Only I can have a panic attack in the back seat of a cop car and have them move me to the front seat.
mary just dropped the yahtzee dice in her wine. and shes throwin em like shes on a craps table.
hahahaha slap the bag.
Can we talk about the fact that I plucked weed off your ass this morning like it's a normal thing to do?
Um of course I blew him. He brought me a shamrock shake. It was two o’clock in the morning on St. Patrick’s Day. There was no smoother move basically. He totally earned that head.
Someone broke into my car and stole it then left me $300 to pay for the damages with a lovely note that said "we just couldn't pass up the boxed wine... Sorry about the window."
I forgot to tell you. Your neighbor was walking his tiny dog and saw me crawl out of my jeep drunk vomiting and holding onto my bumper. He just said: morning! all friendly.
Wikipedia just saved you three hours and $30 on a bar tab. You should donate.
$5. Donated.
We were gonna go out drinking tonight but she found out she's pregnant so are you free
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