the night i cant remember will be the night i always remember thanks to my "i
I hope you're ready because I look like an elf on crack had a baby in the medieval era and that baby grew up to be a whore
is it considered a "problem" when you find a pickle slice in your bed in the morning or is it like a "super-awesome bonus"?
Is it standard protocol to defriend someone after they give you chlamydia?
It's a shame that I don't know his last name. Actually, it's an ever bigger shame that I don't know his first name
He held me the entire night. Not endearing kind of way. Like kidnapping or held hostage kind of way.
Pounding your chest saying "me Tarzan" is not flirting or even talking
the new numbers in my phone would beg to differ
soon, soon....
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
FOund a bunch of old fireworks spring cleaning.
Who is our new insurance provider?
Look outside and see if the septic tank explodes when I flush this.
Mom, I'm really sorry you saw my naked ex-boyfriend in the living room this morning. I can explain....but I'd rather just stick with this apology and be done with it
He finally delivered on the dick pic, and Jesus Christ, it was worth the wait.
your were asleep with people making out on top of you. you didn't even look bothered by it.
I absolutely love waking up to see my phone search history is "xj" "qj" "cj" "uj" and "kj"
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
Randomize
