good call on bringing her. it's always good to invite chicks who mix booze and prescription drugs.
dude i just heard a girl tell another girl 'what part of im trying to get laid tonight dont u understand?'
needless to say i wont be back home tonight
you tried to scramble eggs in my dryer last night. i want you here in 15 minutes to clean this shit up
i have a new found respect for you. the amount of people you must have cockblocked last night is amazing
Fine. Just this once and because its veterans day will I send you a picture of my tits. You're lucky I love this country.
My mom just admitted you were a good looking kid & if you weren't my friend & 30 years older she would do you. I'm going to commit suicide.
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
think he just told me if I need to shit I should go outside.
U thinks that's bad? He told me that he had to envision high school wrestling in order to bust a nut with some girl
I'm super stoned watching the vatican smoke cam. Come over.
I'm treating this like a real date. My boobs aren't even out.
I'm so proud, I have tears
Yeah, so, that moment when the repair guy comes in and you see your cock ring on the counter one second before he does.
While walking to class I was handed a red bull, condoms, and a mini bible. I love my school.
I have only been here for a week and might contributed to a dumpster fire on accident.
I STUDIED GEOGRAPHY I KNOW THIS SHIT!! DON'T YOU DARE QUESTION MY AUTHORITY ON GLACIAL DEPOSITION AGAIN BITCH!!
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