Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
I really hope you get sexually violated by a pterodactyl tonight.
my penis says it needs to be in something. my phonebook says its you
he was so excited that he found the elusive clitoris. i was like look christopher colombus, just because you found it doesnt mean you knew what to do with it
What do I have to do to get you laid? I talked to that girl with the ugly dog for 45 minutes trying to get you in, and all you said was "Steven Spielberg is my favorite director."
Are you pissed because you didn't get action, or the fact i got boned twice in public places tonight?
Watching crazy stupid love and drinking alone isn't what I thought it was gonna be
Its TONS better. Expect a drunk dial at 11:54
I guess the study abroad went badly, I gave him a joint and he just smoked it and cried all the way from the airport
Would it be out of line to take a picture of all the earrings, rings, hairclips, and other miscellaneous girl items that I found under my bed and post it on facebook and tag all the girls that I slept with this year so they can claim their shit and get it out of my house?
Shouting "one vagina to rule them all" was probably not the best way to meet our best mates fiance
Like I would feel weird too if you just cancelled our wedding, cut off all your hair and started twerking everywhere
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
Waxing your own asshole is awkward and difficult at best.
So if my boyfriend and I hooked up with the same girl it’s not like I cheated. It’s communal.
Randomize
