you insisted on breathalizing me with a inhaler.
It's when I'm in my pajamas and in need of a gin delivery that I miss NYC most of all.
ive decided something. ive accepted you as being gay. but i havent accepted you as a vegetarian yet.
Jessi just used the excuse "it's not you it's me" to get out of getting a lap dance.
i'm way too high for it to be safe that i just discovered i have a fire extinguisher
I found an HIV test/information brochure on the kitchen table and what i can only assume to be an "I'm sorry you might have AIDS" gift bag, complete with a candle and popcorn, and I haven't seen you in 36 hours. You good?
Guess who has got hockey tickets for tonight? Only cost me road head going to and coming from the game
They turned motor-boating me into some kind of sick game
I need to stop ravaging the freshman dorm like a virginity-snatching dragon.
Someone just got pizza delivered to the liquor store.
Hows the party lookin?
At a live sex show right now. Not sure about the employee party
Is there a polite way to say "Sorry for your head injury but I still want to hook up"?
Are you doing that thing where you're convinced I made a terrible decision
Daily.
leave me alone I'm becoming one with nature and doing plant things
We bird danced in front of the bird cages for 20 minutes. I think it was our way of being like fuck you guys you're in a cage and we're on summer break.
Randomize
