The shirt is mine, the pants are mine, the bra not so much
I am not sure how to feel about the fact that I was turned on by someone with a penis. I can't believe Lady Gaga would do this to me. :(
And i laid in the yard with carrots on my chest cause i wanted a bunny
i don't think my life will be extraordinarily more meaningful if i let him put his tongue in my butthole.
They are literally fucking next to the DJ Booth to a techno Remix to Pacman. She is going waka waka waka. WHY ARE YOU NOT HERE FOR THIS?!
What are you talking about?! I shot gunned a monster while simaltaneously blowing gym boy Todd. If I'm not the poster child for being well rounded and versatile I have no idea what NYU is looking for
I'm beginning to think the only reason I get laid anymore is girls are fantasizing sleeping with my dad...
If you do wifi you would be helping my penis out & real friends care about their friends penises...
He pissed on a police station. Then expected to not be arrested. Sounds accurate.
Him naked in my bed with a bottle of vodka in one hand, a pipe in the other, and a rose in his mouth.
Idk I was embarrassed that I hit it too hard so I played it off by spitting out bong water like a 'whales blowhole'
Accidentally searched up "pizza pasties" instead of "pizza pastries". I was not disappointed.
They should make eskimo sister bracelets. OMG WE NEED BRACELETS WITH IGLOOS ON THEM.
I’m a lady. I promise I won’t oogle your junk when we go skinny dipping.
I just checked and if you bring a picture of your ex they will shred it and give you a free 'hater shot'. Would it be too much to print off one of their wedding pictures and bring it?
I really love that you're not going the 'why am I not married and having a kid yet?' route, but rather 'thank god I dodged that bullet'
Randomize
