Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
I just accidentally stumbled into an AA meeting...I think its a sign
guess who has a date tonight
look at you growing up, going on dates before she hops into bed
Any parent would be proud to have a daughter that's a blowjob fairy
its barely noon and he already threw up and i have second degree burn
we already have meals planned for the weekend.
SEMEN IS NOT A MEAL.
that trick or treat candy bucket that we used to collect beer money last night was very helpful when I vomited in it this morning
She was literally passed out in a cubicle with a flask in her hand. I LOVE finals week!
I got laid and laid off at a conference in long beach all on the same day
Eh. They balance each other out
Dear lord though. So much glitter. It's just a big gay explosion and all of my whore muscles hurt.
I am drinking fireball and apple juice out of a sippy cup like a fucking toddler.
Best part about a crippling state-wide drought? Actually having a valid excuse for not showering
I woke up with my vibrator in my bed so I'm assuming I had a decent night.
only I would find a long lost relative through a craigslist casual encounters ad
gin. gin. Gin. GIN GIN GINGINFFdJH
Randomize
