your head's too prwtty to be stuck in the books
I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
Its a sad day when your bush has a better set of hair than you do
dont touch anything in my room. If its phallus shaped, i can almost guarantee its been in my vagina.
Yeah sketchy neighborhood.. Some woman ran by screaming, "i didn't steal anything" as some cops rolled up and arrested her.
we've had sex 4 times and he still refers to me as 'the chick in my chem class'
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
He panicked, you ducked and I was coming off a 3 day coke binge. It was no one's shining moment.
Steve just broke his bong and some kid in an american flag bathing suit and no shirt just fell down the stairs. Its dangerous here
A woman on my train just walked down the carriage in a wedding dress, crying and clutching a can of Carlsberg. Oh...
Did you hook up with him before or after he shaved off half of his eyebrow?
'go have sex with her' ddoes not count as wingman
So. Somehow managed to fuck my contacts out of my eyes. Didn't know that was even possible.
Chick in the reindeer getup puked on Baby Jesus last night. But then she bought us all empanadas so she's cool.
I'm pretty sure i doubled the number of dicks I've ever touched, last night.
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