he was terrible at kissing, so i just kept letting him motorboat me. he seemed very pleased with my choice
So they're giving me a CT scan because I probably have a hernia. From getting a BJ from you. Really. This may be a pivotal moment in my decision to write a book about my life
He fucked volume into my hair. It was amazing.
Also I'm 95 percent positive we ate food naked together
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My dealer threw in a "freestyle rap" today with my purchase. I dont know if I can handle this relationship.
He's going to regret telling me he doesn't care if i shave or not...
A guy wearing a hard hat while floating the river. It's the most responsible drinking we saw all day.
This is great- I found hangover detoxifying bath salt online. It flushes out the alcohol. We need this.
Just had a flashback of dry humping a man lying in the street while Jim (dressed as santa) screams 'HAVE YOU BEEN A GOOD BOY?!'
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm just going to eat until there's an actual reason why he wouldn't want to fuck me.
He puked in the voicemail. That's a true friend right there.
Day 1 of "Death of a Liver" weekend complete. It came with flashbacks of horrible mistakes I made due to alcohol. I'm excited for how Sunday is going to turn out.
To be honest, waking up to 20 naked people in my house was not the weirdest thing to happen to me in the past 24 hours
At least be KIND OF sobering up before you text me, I've told you before I don't speak vodka unless I've been drinking it with you.
PS WHY wasn't I drinking it with you? Dick.
that awkward moment when you use blowjob jokes as a segue into coming out as bi
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