i puked in the mini-firdge
we don't have a mini-fridge?
bought one. it ws too cheap to pass up. xcept now there's puke in it,,, but the freezer's fine so i feel pretty good about that
yes, too bad my tears were being wiped away by tits in my face
me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
i just learned how to squirt via google. life is good.
I heard that if you win you get to have sex with me. You guys really need to stop wagering my vagina.
I remember sucking his bleeding finger and then it's all black until he had his hand down my pants.
There was no way out of it, seeing as I left my photo ID right next to the vomit.
We had to coat check the pizza.
It was awesome explaining why I had a tiger with boxers in my bed, a little bit drunk, to a girl in a pre-sex moment
Being invited to eat tater tots at 1:30am by a rly hot girl then actually only eating tater tots is a major let down. Tasty, but still a let down
In the wise words of Scar: "be prepared."
Do you think Scar was a Boy Scout?
I just smoked by myself in my childhood bedroom, how happy does it seem I am to be home for Christmas?
But for real though. That weed tastes like the jolly laughter of Santa Claus.
He lured me round with the prospect of sex and then made me proofread his CV and spoon. I fucking hate this guy.
so i was about to call you for your birthday but then i started making out with this guy... and i feel bad but i felt like you'd understand
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