the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
we need to stop having unprotected sex.
ya i know. we're like the secret life of the american whores.
I dreamt I won the Huge Cock Championship last night. It was glorious.
i just realized the only form of arm exercise i get is holding my arms up in the stand up tanning booth
I've see this movie. You sext me after the bar and fall asleep mid sentence. Roll credits.
Now one day I will be able to tell my children how a drag queen in a gay bar told mommy that bin laden was dead
Send me the picture of my mugshot, my boss got arrested last night and I'm trying to make her feel better.
I got my project done and a booty call in all before 1am. I'm a professional college kid.
She licked EVERYTHING then yelled at me in Spanish. I just kept saying SI.
Didn't want you to think it had been open season on my vagina since we broke up.
I love how my phone automatically capitalizes Margarita. R-e-s-p-e-c-t.
My ass is in a myriad of pain right now
Lesson learned - Taco Bell before a long night of BDSM is a BAD idea
Ha! Just garden hosed my vag and thought of you.
I passed out while searching "symptoms of narcolepsy"...
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