I would have done the walk of shame but I couldnt walk
arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
Buying weed on Christmas. Gotta love Jewish drug dealers
Just found out that wake n bake is not one of the 7 habits of highly effective people..
Her vagina is like Vegas. high traffic and full of glitter.
there is potential here for me to have a consistent access to someone's dick who isn't actually an asshole. i think i'm ready for a relationship.
now that you've tased me I refuse to buy you flowers
Just saw you drinking out of a flask on national tv. I've never been more proud of you
Its official vodka lemonade jager and whiskey with coorslight is a bad combination of try to forget the work week cocktail ps bring alkaseltzer
I think the best course of action at this point is to cut his balls off to get him to stop reproducing
I think my teeth are moving, they feel like people.
Jello shots and homoerotic movie scenes bingo?
You should feel special! You're also the only person I've ever punched during sex
You woke up in between the boxspring and the matress in a random dorm room.
I just split a tacobell party box with my boss. 12 tacos. We were equals for a moment.
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