this guy at work is bossing me around at work. He is 24 and still has highlights and spikes his hair.
You're getting bossed around by a 1999 Highschool Yearbook picture?
I was so drunk i thought Kathy Griffin was funny
I was arrested last night for attempting to flee and elude. I wasn't really trying to run from the police. I was drunk and lost in the woods. I thought it was pretty obvious when I was waving at them from my puddle of puke that I wasn't really hiding.
Yeah, she tried to drown her but then they hooked up.
who has that picture of us looking like alcoholics at the zoo?
my liver gets a handicap on account of the whole being diseased thing
Remember that time I tried to pierce your nipples while high... it's like that, only with more blood... and less nipples
You look cute and you are awesome. And that means something coming from a judgmental bitch
No im the worst roommate ever. Just dump a bucket of water on my head at 8am so i can suffer like i deserve to.
I guess I fell on the bar and kept trying to get back in telling the bouncer that I left my teeth at the bar. Woke up this morning with chipped tooth
Everything smells like vodka and bologna. WHAT DID YOU DO?
Life's too short to be sucking dicks in cars for the rest of my life.
I told people at my moms bar that all I needed to sober up was to get my asshole licked, and I blame you 110%.
That moment when a stripper is the one that makes the two of you have to define the status of your relationship...
Just drink your champagne out of a trophy like a fuckin winner
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