Im so sleepy and hes snoring super loud! i just wanna suffocate him, sleep, and deal with the body when I wake up
but you don't have to sleep on top of four different cum stains because you'd rather buy a case of Franzia than spend $3.50 in the student laundry room
I'm starting to blur the boundary between reasonable senioritis and self-destruction. Somewhat-openly hittin the flask in 11am class
I dont even care how hung over I am, and how shitty this bus ride will be. That was the best sex of my life and it's a beautiful morning.
im still going. this is my new reality. also. dont take glowsticks in the bath. they explode. actually. do. it. its beautiful.
i dont think thats healthy man...
I think he offered to cook me dinner or cook me for dinner. Not really sure. Just smiled and nodded.
CHEMICAL ENGINEER. God my mom would be so proud of me.
I met this girl the other day and found out her boyfriend is a helicopter pilot. How the fuck do you compete with that.
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
That sad moment when you flush your Molly down the toilet at the airport & watch your vacation slowly end..
You thought you were drunk? I woke up at 6 o'clock this morning with a cheeseburger in my left hand a drink in my right with my window half way down. it was raining.... fml
I also got a mission for you and you're gonna love it. Biggest. Hospital. Party. Ever.
As if I wouldn't steal Nintendo brand "Mario is my HOMEBOY!" boxers when he gave me the entire drawer to choose from.
It's your birthday, you should get to jizz where you want to. Jizz when you want tooo
I want your cock. I also want to cuddle you and tell you how amazing you are, because you know balance.
Randomize
