K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
Riddle me this. What had unbelievable sex, and finally understands the meaning that things come better in pairs?
I hate you
do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
I really need to stop coming home drunk and lint rolling my rabbit.
I miss waking up, opening the closet downstairs, and finding you inside passed out.
Not sure. We'll pass out on that bridge when we stumble to it.
I am in macy's and just straight up heard an old lady taking a crap in her depends.
Since Josh is going to be Carl Sagan for Halloween, he bought a turtleneck and sportsman jacket. It's all my nerd fantasies come true.
he's like a horny 3rd grader on cocaine. he needs a leash
My booty call fought through ice and a foot of snow to get here. He brought booze, food, and cigarettes for three days. My vagina is the greatest motivator of all time.
We were on a plane, I couldn't just grab his dick
Meeting him up for him to pay half of the Plan B was awkward but worth it cause I'm broke as fuck
I said I hate kids.This dude said he will sell his children to go on a date with me.
i woke up face planted on your ottoman..thanks for letting me sleepover
Ummm so he didn't think I was serious about breaking up... Most awkward conversation ever
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