k, so I just picked a four leaf clover, then saw my dads penis. Lucky? I think not.
We walked into the bar in The Flying V formation from The Mighty Ducks. We were ready.
They've started ranking girls from "paper-bag" to "I just came." Please come get me
Taking jello shots out of a big bowl from a measuring spoon. holla atcha boy.
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
Two girls I have never met just thumb wrestled to decide who gets to make out with me.
All I heard was "I swear it'll be funny" and then we were in jail.
Going to get a "plan B"urrito
sorry for allegedly lighting the beer pong balls of fire
That's the girl I met who was peeing on the driveway with me. We bonded
He's writing a strongly worded email to Trojan right now
I TOLD YOU THE BARESKIN CONDOMS WEREN'T AS RELIABLE.
We put a ban on pants at an unusually early point in the night.
Also...I'm semi-dating the drug dealer that took me to bible study
Because I'm currently dying, lacking waffles, and vaguely convinced I'm an eagle
I shouldn't have to tell you to stop throwing knives at me.
Randomize
