Just seen on a tshirt : "fake titties taste funny"
You took a fire extinguisher off the wall in the hallway to play Ghostbusters.
We were squawking at each other for over an hour like chickens. Literally. Never touching the stuff again and never again showing my face at that Denny's.
Hey I think I found part of your tooth next to your wine bottle in the floor board of my car.
you covered his dog in toothpaste. safe to say hes not gonna call you.
You ordered 6 boxes of pizza and laughed in the pizza guys face when you didn't pay for any of them.
I am far too hungover to deal with the fact I can hear you masturbating in the bathroom.
I'm going home because your Crackraptor step-brother tried getting his nasty meat hawks in my pants last night.
the bartender goes "wow its so good to see you sober" and gives me a hug
Did I try to sell your body for chicken tenders last night?
Since when is my clitoris pierced?
We're at an agreement where I don't pry and she pretends blissful ignorance
It was probably bad to sleep with someone just to pet his dog right?
Let's just say, I will never again lick an asshole.
i out mim tonsoeep
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