Dude go to the top of pikes peak right now to catch Kevin Bacon's band performing
The bacon? Yeah right. What if there's Tremors?
Him and Burt have already taken care of that. It's a once in a lifetime chance to catch the Bacon brothers live in concert. I sort of have a boner
Ha Ha the cop that just pulled me over would like me to tell you hi!
just woke up with a thong on my face, dont remember going home with anyone and its way too big for it to be a good thing
hes so high that he's convinced hes a duck. hes squating in the bathtub quacking. that was NOT JUST pot.
Dubbing lion king over planet earth. That stoned.
i drank out of a bidet.
you know you made out with my sister while holding Ur girlfriends hand while she was puking in the toilet right
My ex wife just asked to go over our divorce papers and for sex in the same text
I woke up smelling like chlorine with a broke toe. They know how to fucking party on lake lanier.
I feel like I got ass raped in the brain.
Go big or go home. Or get a live in house boy you met 7 years ago and feel like you have unfullfilled potential. You know, the usual
She cried the whole movie and got kicked out for saying "[Santa's beard] looks so soft I wanna stick my dick in it." We're going again next week. Drunk animation majors are the best
It's been two whole weeks and I haven't missed a single class. I deserve 69 blunts.
Here when you come to your senses come back here and I'll fuck you back out of them.
Yes we can sext. I'm taking my socks off.
I woke up with eight different shoes in my bed what the hell happened last night
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